Great Jokes Still Sound The Same



A Very Special Love Pavilion Film Presentation

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Michael and I finally really HAVE agreed on something. We would both very much like the following film to be made:



I mean, with all that hair in their eyes, it's no wonder they haven't realised that they are IDENTICAL TWINS SEPARATED AT BIRTH! And so, we are going to tell their story, giving the classic 'Parent Trap' tale a third makeover.

Things We Will Be Ignoring:

  • Their 11 year age gap. Or, actually, we might just point it out at every opportunity. We haven't decided yet.
  • The implausibility of two grown men attending a summer camp. But hey, there's not much logic to The Parent Trap at all, is there.

    Right - so, it's basically the same story as the original. At their birth, Damon and Ricky's parents, (played by Simon Le Bon and Lulu:)...



    ...decided to split up, taking one child each. Damon and Lulu went to live in Africa, with the other two staying in Leeds. After the two boys grow up, becoming pop stars and fantastic tv show hosts, they accidentally meet each other at an American summer camp.

    When the two meet, they can't believe what they see in the other! Flat caps? Eyeliner? Fringes in eyes? "Wacky" stage antics? They must be twins!

    From then on it's time to 'swap places' as the two attempt to reunite their parents, and get their family back together!

    It's feelgood family fun all around! Coming to a Love Pavilion screen this week!


  • Hold Up There Buddy!

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    Michael, we're really NOT agreeing very much. In fact, you've taken up your old post as President Of Wrong Information stronger than ever before.

    You are calling bands "indie" which are simply NOT. Blur, The Pastry Chefs and The Killers are not indie! I hate indie!! Stop saying otherwise.

    That's all for now.


    Two World's Collide...:

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    For the first time in at least a year, me and Crystal agree on something.

    I fucking hate Bloc Party.

    Which should come as no surprise to anyone who's been reading the recently revamped Indie Pavilion whenever I've roused myself enough to make a post, because I fucking hate most people who are putting out music and pretending to be Blur/Oasis/Prince/The Smiths (delete as applicable) at the moment.

    It's the first time in a long time that I've looked at the charts, sat back and thought, 'What's the point?'. Because I don't understand. I don't understand why people who should be in the NME are in The Sun. I don't understand why my Dad owns the Razorlight album. I don't understand why poncy indie boys - who are not even fit! - have taken over the world, and I don't understand where good pop music has gone to.

    And I don't understand why I'm here, when I have a Psychology exam which I should at least pretend to care about lest I be kicked out of university. But that's how frustrated it has me!

    For the love of Ginger Spice, will someone who can't play the guitar and has never heard of Queens of Noize release a decent single before the year is out!


    Modern Tribute Bands Are Rubbish

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    (Old school!)

    I think I spoke too soon yesterday, because straight after I wrote that I'd love the Kaiser Chefs forever, I suddenly became quite sick of them. But that's what happens when you play an album 30 times in one week I guess.

    Anyway, for a total change of pace I thought I'd play some Blur records. So, I've been listening to Modern Life Is Rubbish, Parklife and the Best Of. AND...

    ...you know, compared to the original, Kaiser Chefs are a bit crap. It's like I've been watching Home And Away for 2 weeks, and I've suddenly remembered that Neighbours is still on.

    Maybe the Chefs should just stick to cooking and drinking Sprite...


    An Exciting New Direction...

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    Well, seeing as funding cuts were threatening to see "I Predict A Diet" pulled off the air after only it's first episode, we've had to seek sponsorship from a soft drink company.

    The show is now known, from this point forwards as:...



    It's the exact same show though, just with a LOT more Sprite. The concept hasn't changed, just the drink that our dieticians and star chefs recommend.

    It's going to be GREAT...


    Where Is The Hate?

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    The Love Pavilion is finally living up to it's name! DO you SEE how I have not turned on the Kaiser Chiefs? It's been 10 days since the fist proclamation of love, and it has only grown since then! They are turning into a forever love in the same vein as Oasis/Cameron/Neighbours - a VERY rare group who never get dumped.


    Meanwhile:

    That Liam Gallagher Vs Kaiser Chiefs thing which has 'kicked off' today...

    The idiot Oasis fans who are agreeing with Liam are WRONG, and the idiot Kaiser Chiefs fans who are calling Liam a moron are WRONG.

    Everyone. Is. WRONG.

    Oh, I hate it when bands I love fight. I don't know which way to turn, who to trust, or what to do. Why can't everyone just play nicely? I REFUSE TO TAKE SIDES.


    Something Absolutely Hilarious And Terrifying About The Kaiser Chiefs

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    I made an ill-advised decision this afternoon to investigate the Chief's previous incarnation as indie band "Parva". Thanks to the internet I was able to track down their old label site, and much more.

    Hello denim!:



    I've simply learnt some things I did not wish to know. The Chiefs really WERE a horrible, horrible indie band. LOOK!:



    CHARLES RICHARD WILSON, I just cannot believe you would ever dress like that.

    And who the fuck are these people!?



    OH GOD NO. I'm just going to pretend none of this ever ever happened.




    (Actually...Cameron only gave them 3 stars)

    You know...something has been slowly creeping up on me the last week. It's been like that episode of The Simpsons, where Ned Flanders decides he hates Homer Simpson. I didn't realise it was happening till I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, sat up, and yelled out:

    'Oh my God, I think I hate Bloc Party!'

    I just keep accidentally reading interviews with them where they slag off other bands that I like, except they do it so politely that you don't actually realise they've done it till a few days later. And then you think, 'gee, what's the view like from up there, BLOC PARTY?' They are so judgemental about any other rock stars who don't exhibit what they consider perfect popstar behavior, which I suppose for them means reading books and sitting quietly.

    This is NOT just because they've dissed Oasis and the Chiefs. No, really, it's not. It's about the PRINCIPLE of the thing.

    I'll see if this develops any further. Because being the one member of the "We Hate The Bloc Party Club" is going to be pretty lonely. Even the Danny Fanclub had two members (me and him)!


    QUESTION

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    - Am I the only person in the world who actually likes the new Coldplay album cover?

    As we like to say around here - Well done Chris!


    I Predict A Diet - Episode One!

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    Let's hit the theme song!

    "Watching the people get unhealthy,
    is not very pretty, I tell thee...
    And putting on pounds is quite scary,
    And not very sensible either...

    lalalalalala

    I predict a diet! I predict a diet!
    I predict a diet! I predict a diet!"




    Kaiser Chefs: Hi, we're the Kaiser Chefs! Welcome to episode one of our new show "I Predict A Diet!"

    Simon: Today on the show, we've got a very special celebrity diet makeover - Taj!
    Ricky: We're putting a building on a diet?
    Simon: Hahahaha. No. Not the Taj Mahal silly! Taj from Neighbours!
    Ricky: Ah, of course! Brilliant! Let's crank up the bonza bus then shall we? Destination Sydney!

    The Chefs arrive at Taj's Sydney abode



    Knock knock

    Taj answers

    KCs: Hello Taj! You've been selected to come on our show! As one of the fattest Neighbours characters of recent times, you were the perfect choice as our first ever guest! And taking a look at you, there's only thing we have to say: 'I predict a diet!'
    Taj: Who the fuck are you?
    KCs: We're the Kaiser Chefs! We cook, we sing, and we CHANGE LIVES!
    Taj: ...I've never heard of you
    KCs: Never mind! Are you ready to come with us for the dieting experience of a lifetime?
    Taj: ...yeah, I guess. Can I just say goodbye to my girlfriend first?
    KCs: Of course!
    Taj: (Calling out) Goodbye Libby!
    Libby: (In background) See ya Taj!

    We arrive at a kitchen



    Ricky: Now Taj, we are going to put you on the "Blue Cake Diet". It's basically where you eat nothing but blue cakes for a month.
    Taj: But won't eating nothing but cake make you put ON weight?
    Ricky: No well, the thing is you see, the frightening appearance and disgusting taste will put you off so much that you won't eat anything at all. Weight loss guaranteed!
    Taj: I see. Isn't this a bit of a controversial approach?
    Ricky: Yes well, it's not recommended by any doctors anywhere.
    Taj: Will it be dangerous to my health?
    Ricky: Oh definitely. But do you want to be fat or not?
    Taj: Not. I'll give it a bash then!
    Ricky: That's the spirit! Alright then Taj, we'll set you up with a month's supply of cake (which you won't need!) and we'll check back on you in a months time!
    Taj: Thanks guys! See you then!

    Jaunty music plays

    Back in the studio

    Nick: And now it's time for a special segment we like to call 'The Chef's Top Five!'

    The Chef's Top Five Chefs Who Aren't Them!:

    1. Jamie Oliver
    2. Ben from the Big Arvo
    3. Nigella Lawson
    4. Ian "Hewie" Hewitson
    5. Gwyneth Paltrow


    KCs: And now it's time to check back in with Taj! It's been a month, let's see if he's stuck to the diet, and how much weight he has lost!

    The Chefs arrive back at Taj's house



    Ricky: Well Taj!...don't you look...as fat as ever...er, wonderful...
    Taj: Don't try to humour me.
    Nick: You ate the cakes, didn't you.
    Taj: Yes. They don't taste as bad as they look.
    Ricky: (Thinking) Hmmm... Maybe we should revise the concept a bit then
    Nick: After all, it's only the pilot! We'll get it right next time, surely!
    Ricky: Yeah, well done Taj! Thanks for being on the show!
    Taj: It's been great fun!

    Kaiser Chefs: Thanks for tuning in everyone! Stay tuned next week for another dieting triumph!


    We've Worked On This Concept For Months...

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    It's finally time to unveil the Kaiser Chef's all new celebrity cooking show!:



    It's weight loss - the Kaiser Chef's way!

    Move over "Celebrity Fit Club", "Celebrity Overhaul", ET ALL, because "I Predict A Diet" is here to help (and surprise!) the stars into shape! Every week one very special star guest will recieve a surprise at their door - a member of the Kaiser Chef's there telling them 'I predict a diet!' From then on it's time to WHIP them right into shape - with some fun shenanigans and healthy living tips along the way!

    Every Day You'll Be Eating Less And Less!


    Born To Be A Dancer

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    Just to make it official that the Chiefs are the new Blur:


    Be Careful What You Wish For

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    SO. Michael wanted Chris to Liz-o-vate Coldplay's new album cover.

    Well, don't think for ONE MOMENT that Chris wasn't up to the job:



    Well done Chris!


    What Actually Happened To...:

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    ...Him from out of The Vines.

    It was discovered that the spazzy behaviour that the NME so loved to pick up on/laugh at was a result of him being autistic, so all future touring was cancelled and, with any luck, all future recording.

    In vaguely related news, the new Coldplay song is...exactly the same as the old Coldplay song. And all Coldplay songs that came before it.

    I suggest Chris turns his hand at Liz-o-vating his bands' sound. And that hideous album cover. (Hehehe - Crystal) (Alright then - Chris)


    What Ever Happened To...

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    ...The Vines?



    Seeing as the Indie Pavilion was "brought up", I had a glance through the Indie Pav era, and found a post I'd made about The Vines upcoming album. And then I thought "what the hell ever happened to The Vines?" I never thought I'd miss Craig Nicholls' tiresome Kurt Cobain impressions, fondness for McDonalds and comedy British accent, but I DO. No just kidding. I don't really.

    But still, poor guy. Now that he's unemployed, maybe we could give him a job here? We already have a handyman, a life philosopher, a chef, and someone who doubles the fun at every available opportunity though, so I'm not quite sure what he could do...

    We'll try and think of something.


    "The Sleeper of their generation"

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    According to this (thank you to Hannah for the link) one of the Manic Street Preachers hates the Kaiser Chiefs!

    Let's hear what he has to say, SHALL WE!:

    "They've been like 4 different bands in the past 4 years. Oh, they were a Stooges band, then they were a fucking indie band, and oh, now we're trying to be a fucking Blur band!"

    And now they are a cooking band!



    No, but seriously, as much as I love the Chiefs, that WAS right on the money. I've thought it a bit questionable the way they suddenly became a Blur tribute band overnight, when they weren't before. It's a bit too "The Bravery" for me.

    (Oooh...the first signs of criticism...)



    Remember last time it was an all Killers affair, and I promised to restore the balance? Well - I'm pleased to announce there's been a Kaiser Chiefs invasion! (And some songs that are by NEITHER, oh my goodness.)


    (Ruling my Top 10 Together!)

    1. All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
    2. Mr Brightside - The Killers
    3. Everyday I Love You Less And Less - Kaiser Chiefs
    4. A Pessimist Is Never Disappointed - The Audience
    5. Somebody Told Me - The Killers
    6. 80s Rockstar - The Weekend
    7. Giving You Up - Kylie Minogue
    8. Negotiate With Love - Rachel Stevens
    9. I Predict A Riot - Kaiser Chiefs
    10. Modern Way - Kaiser Chiefs


    Meanwhile...even though we've already BEEN The Indie Pavilion, remember Michael, I'm more than happy to give it a "re-load". Shall I book Chris in? That said, I'm nowhere near done with Extreme Chiefs Appreciation Mania, and am ready and rearing to roll into week two...


    I Predict A Riot:

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    Jesus Noel Gallagher!

    The Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, pictures cut out of the NME...

    We'll have a really straight, dyed black fringe in place of the Kaiser Chiefs banner next week, such is the alarming rate at which we're becoming The Indie Pavilion.

    If anyone wants to send me some MP3s by someone who doesn't play their own instrument - or even write their own songs - I'd be more than grateful. You know my G-Unit Mail address.


    Double The Chiefs!

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    Attention Aussie Kaiser Chief fans! Look what WOMP has gone and done for us on Rage tonight:



    There's also two plays of the new Gorillaz song, so WOMP has REALLY been on our sides this week. Thanks WOMP!


    A Bonza Picture

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    From last week's/this week's (depending on where you live) NME.

    I've had to un-Blutak this from my wall though, and it really must be returned PRONTO, in case I lose it and never again find pictorial evidence for this meeting of the minds:



    Yay - buddies! Not at all enemies like we insinuated on yesterday's episode of Damon Albarn's Harbor.

    Meanwhile: I think the "Kaiser Chefs" will be back for their very own special Love Pavilion segment, cooking up a storm! Move over Jamie's School Dinners, The Chefs will be re-educating the kids one blue cake at a time, teaching them:

  • The nutritional value of blue food dye
  • And why ugly is always better!


  • It's Time For The 2005 Season Premiere Of...
    Damon Albarn's Harbor!

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    "Some days we're starting off new in 2005!
    With a fresh new vibe!
    Yeah we're feeling alright,
    Down at Damon Albarn's Harbour!"


    Damon: Hello children! It's great to be back for a fresh new season of Damon Albarn's Harbor! This year it's all about HAPPINESS - I've put all my anger and bitterness behind me, and I'm ready for some fun!

    To celebrate our first episode back, I think we need a cake! And I've got some special guest chefs in to help me...The Kaiser CHEFS!



    What a beautiful blue cake they've whipped up for us! Hello guys, welcome to the studio!

    Kaiser Chiefs: Hello Damon! Great to be here!
    Damon: And great to have you! Now Ricky, can you talk us through the recipe for how to make this fantastic cake?
    Ricky: Well, it's basically just your average sponge, dyed a terrifying shade of blue.
    Damon: Brilliant!
    Ricky: It sure is!

    Damon: Now, let's get down to business. I hear you're the lead singer in a band, as well as a great cook...
    Ricky: Well, yeah...
    Damon: Now, what band would you say you most sound like?
    Ricky: Well, we sound a bit like Blur, actually!
    Damon: A bit? Try a whole bloody lot. You know, I'm in a band that sounds a lot like Blur too. Oh that's right, I AM in Blur.
    Ricky: ...ok.
    Damon: I hope you aren't thinking of hosting a fantastic children's variety show from a harbor, are you?
    Ricky: No...I was actually thinking about starting up a lizovations company though.
    Damon: Oh, I'm sorry to tell you this, but only singers who either ARE, or sound like the lead singer of Coldplay can do that.
    Ricky: Oh. Well, who can host TV shows from harbors then?
    Damon: You have to sound like the lead singer from Blur, or be Ben Cousins. I think it's pretty obvious why.
    Ricky: Oh definitely. So, I CAN host a brilliant kid's television show from a harbor then?
    Damon: NO YOU FUCKING CAN'T! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
    Ricky: Sorry Damon.
    Damon: That's alright. I think we'd better go to a break. Thanks for coming in.
    Ricky: Thanks for having us.


    Damon Albarn's Harbour returns next week, for another fun packed episode!


    In Other HiT News...

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    Check this out:



    Cameron sure does love our special Love Pavilion guest stars doesn't he? I'm expecting to see WOMP in the "Hot" column next week.

    And speaking of special guest stars, Damon Albarn's Harbour is back with an all new series starting soon! (Can you guess who he MIGHT have on as star guests?)


    Oh, Thank God

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    THE VERDICT IS IN:


    OK Old Bean, Ready To Rumble?:

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    Given Australian televisions current pilaging of Britain's best/worst light entertainment, minor celebrity-endorsed 'reality' shows (see: Strictly Come Dancing, The X-Factor and that Stars in their Eyes rip-off) our Aussie 'fans' (well, Alyson, at least) will be pleased to hear of the emergence of Celebrity Wrestling.

    The premise? Two teams of six Z-list celebrities-by-proxy (there's Princess Diana's ex/notorious 'cad' James Hewitt and Jade Goody's former spouse, Jeff Brazier amongst their numbers) - including Liberty X's Michelle Heaton and Kate Lawler from the Big Brother series that was so lame everyone has forgotten about it - adopt hilariously feeble nicknames (I'll be putting money on Jeff Brazier's 'The Pocket Rocket' and Kate Lawler's 'The Brawler') and slug it out, dressed in grossly misjudged outfits.

    It's only a matter of time before The Disco Cow faces Nikki's 'Strawberry Kiss'...

    There's a flash game on the official website that would be worth a go, if I could actually get pixellated Michelle Heaton to shake her scrawny ass.


    A Kaiser Chiefs Review That Is Party Correct, But Partly Very Very Wrong

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    This is from HotPress, which I don't mind as far as music magazines go. I read it a week ago though, and it sort of lowered my expectations for how good the album was going to be:



    (Stuart?!)

    Anyway, only 3...Fire Things? INCORRECT! "Something you wouldn't feel the need to invent if it didn't exist'? INCORRECT!

    "Makes you want to rush out and buy a pencil case so you can scrawl their names on it'? CORRECT. On, in my case, makes me want to perform a Lizovation, pronounce it BEST ALBUM EVER and run an Extreme Appreciation Mania.


    Thanks Chris!

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    Ok, so I'm the first to admit that the Chief's album cover doesn't exactly present the nicest colors for a Lizovation, but it's what we've got to work with. Besides, next week when I hate them it will all be changed

    Top 5 Tracks On Employment:



    1. Everyday I Love You Less And Less
    2. Na Na Na Naa
    3. I Predict A Riot
    4. Modern Way
    5. Saturday Night

    Meanwhile, I can barely stand the anticipation of Cameron Adams review tomorrow. PLEASE Cameron, don't let me down.


    Shittest Album of 2005, Possibly EVER:

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    Actually, when I consigned The Arcade Fire to the, erm, fire, I'd forgotten about being strapped down (okay, I was in a car, it was a seatbelt - but still!) and forced to listen to the Stereophonics' new album which, despite featuring that line about banana splits and cream (or whatever useless euphimism it is) is really quite horrendous.


    It's Time For The Requisite...

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    BEST ALBUM EVER

    No really, IT IS. This time I mean it. I haven't loved a new album this much since...er, Keane, actually. (Though, I'm starting to think my extreme Keane fandom was extremely misguided.)

    It is SO BLOODY EXCELLENT, this album. And it also has a Best Song Ever! - Everyday I Love You Less And Less. It is BLURTASTIC.


    Oh, And While I'm Here...:

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    Image hosted by Photobucket.com

    Here's a picture of Geri Halliwell, lapping up some milk and pretending to be a cat, stolen, without shame, from Popjustice.

    Contrary to popular belief, 'Desire' is actually really good not bad alright not as bad as everyone is saying it is.


    I Predict A Riot:

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    Before we undergo a Liz-o-vation, can I just state, for the record, that the Kaiser Chiefs album is amongst the top five worst things I have ever heard, and not just on CD?

    Right. Done. And with that in mind...

    Michael's Top Five Albums Of 2005 So Far:



    1. Patrick Wolf, Wind in the Wires - obviously.
    2. Vanessa Carlton, Harmonium - for which I should be stoned to death, I know. But it is really good.
    3. Lindsay Lohan, Speak.
    4. Rufus Wainwright, Want Two - even though it's nowhere near as good as Want One.
    5. Antony and The Johnsons, I Am A Bird Now - although, upon retrospect, there's only about three good songs on it.

    Fucking hell. I hope some actual popstars - who don't write their own songs, and come out in hives whenever they approach an instrument, musical or otherwise - make a decent CD soon.

    Shittest Album of 2005, Possibly EVER, That Everybody Is Pretending To Like Because The People Who Made It Wear Jaunty Hats And Quirky Outfits And The NME Likes Them:



    The Arcade Fire's album, which is called Death or Dead or something - frankly, I can't be botherd to find out.

    And usually I'm a sucker for a digipack.



    Image hosted by Photobucket.com

    1. Perform a Kaiser Chiefs Lizovation on the Love Pavilion
    2. Decide on a first single
    3. Wash paintbrushes
    4. Album promo
    5. Save some Africans
    6. Buy some hammers
    7. Glastonbury
    8. Feed some ducks
    9. Bask in the glow of the inevitable 5 star Cameron Adams review
    10. Iron overalls


    Mystery Solved, But Not Completed

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    It turns out every single copy of the album in the land is missing Track 12! Sanity say there could be a recall, and that I should 'hold on' to my copy until a proper one can be purchased...





    It's always great to start an Extreme Appreciation Week off with a mystery. (Oh damn...if only we could get a certain banned super detective in...)

    Anyway track 12, "Team Mates", which is listed on the back of my Employment CD cover, is NOT ACTUALLY ON THE DISC. It stops at track 11. I took the album back to Sanity last night - but they were already closed! So I'll have to take it back today, to see where the hell track 12 has got to, and whether I can get it.

    I can't at all think WHY it's not there...this really is a mystery...

    Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!


    I Predict A...New Extreme Appreciation Mania

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    FINALLY out today:



    And about bloody time too. I have been waiting at least 3 weeks forever for this.

    So anyway, "The Kaiser Chiefs" - Why I Think They Are Excellent:

    They first 'grabbed my attention' when I saw a photo of them, looking distinctly like a Blur tribute act.



    Then I downloaded some of their songs, and was extremely excited to hear that they also sound like a Blur tribute act. Brilliant!!

    Even though I haven't purchased the CD yet, I've heard half of it, so I'm tentatively going to announce it as "Album Of The Year" so far. Though this is still pending:

    a. The actual hearing of the album
    b. Cameron Adams review of it.

    So it could ALL CHANGE. Still, time for a list!:

    Top 5 Albums Of 2005, Thus Far:

    1. Employment - Kaiser Chiefs
    2. The Bravery - The Bravery
    3. Speak - Lindsay Lohan
    4. Some Cities - Doves
    5. Tourist - Athlete

    And of course, once Don't Believe The Truth is out, that list will be literally blown out of the water.

    Meanwhile, Love Pavilion News:

  • This week's ban is on Stuart from Neighbours. And, unless he mentions Cameron Adams on the show...which does seem unlikely...we will be sticking to this one.
  • We are making a concerted effort to rekindle Lizbian relations with our former Sister Site. Would they like to be involved with Extreme Kaiser Chiefs Appreciation Mania? I KNOW THEY WOULD!
  • Chris will be in, sometime soon!


  • EXCUSE ME.

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    Now, why does Fop seem to be on hiatus? COME BACK IMMEDIATELY.

    If you do, you can even have the original and the best in to do some touch ups!:



    Now that Coldplay are ready to release their new album, Chris has decided it's also time to pick the paintbrushes up again! SERIOUSLY!


    Move Over, Cameron Adams

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    Do you remember back in the era of Sky's Magical Mystery Tour I was going to make a magazine? And then I never did it? WELL - I've finally gotten around to it! It's just a fanzine, and it's literally only two pages long, but this is surely just the beginning of world wide media domination by your's truly.

    I'm too shy to show you any of it though, save the front cover and a segment that I think will actually take off here at the Love Pavilion.

    Image hosted by Photobucket.com

    Don't you just love my "appropriation" of the Franz logo? What a FLASH of brilliance, that was.

    And, the new LP segment, starting soon...

    Image hosted by Photobucket.com


    I Give In

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    On the week that I vow not to mention A CERTAIN REVIEWER, just LOOK who he goes and puts in the Hot column:



    Now that was just TEASING. Anyone, and I mean ANYONE else, and I could have resisted. But fucking Stuart from Neighbours? BLIND STU? I'm just getting it over with and renaming this Cameron's Love Pavilion.

    Also, is this the very first time that Cameron and Stu have come together? We have two topics of discussion here at the LP: 1. Cameron Adams & 2. Stu from Neighbours. But they rarely, if ever, cross over. The two have always remained mutually exclusive. But THIS...this could be a start of a whole new era...


    Extreme Cameron Adams Depreciation Mania:

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    Surely I can't be the only one expecting a repeat of the Top Secret Oasis Week shenanigans, with lots of whiting out of Cameron Adams' name?

    Not so much a case of 'Can we do it?' as 'Can her royal flyness do it?'.

    WE WILL SEE.

    In other news, I'm off to buy Mel 'Number 10' C's new album as soon as I can bring it upon myself to get dressed.


    Giving You Up

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    It's time for our next theme week. It's a sort of ANTI-Appreciation Mania...



    The Facts:

  • Since the Love Pavilion returned, we have made 108 posts. 30 of these are about Cameron Adams. (The rest are about Stu)
  • I've recently been accused by friends and family of being a broken record that plays nothing but "Cameron says"
  • Really, the most common words out of my mouth are "Well, Cameron says that..."
  • And they are also the most common words I type right here.


    "Think For Yourself Week" - A Totally Cameron Adams Free Experience RULES:

    1. NO mentioning of what Cameron Adams does, or does not say, about anyone or anything.
    2. No dreading up ancient reviews, that are barely relevant to the topic 'at hand'
    3. No buying anything because Cameron Adams gives it more than 3 stars.

    From THIS MOMENT ON the words 'Cameron Adams' are banned from The Love Pavilion for one week! Can we do it? WE WILL SEE.


  • The Special (Chart Position Of) Two

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    I guess it's appropriate, really.





    Well, I only got this because The Killers said that it was a bad rip-off of them, and I figured then that it would be right up my ally.

    And, it IS. Cameron was right when he said it was 'durantastic'. (But I didn't buy it because of him, he didn't even like it that much.)

    Oooh, look who's here!



    Stuart!

    Crystal: G'day Stu! Come to review The Bravery album in a classic Pop Mechanics With Stu 'bit'?
    Stu: Apparently, yeah...
    Crystal: Well Stu, have you seen what one of the songs on the album is called?
    Stu: Excuse me?
    Crystal: Oh sorry, bad choice of words. You haven't been seeing much of anything lately!
    Stu: No, I haven't.
    Crystal: Ok then, have you heard what one of the songs is called?
    Stu: I don't think I have, no.
    Crystal: "No Brakes"!
    Stu: That sounds dangerous.
    Crystal: Doesn't it ever!
    Stu: You have to be careful when hurtling down the highway of success, that you don't speed yourself down a road of trouble.
    Crystal: Of course. That's always a worry.
    Stu: Though...it does seem to me like there are 'no brakes' on their career!
    Crystal: You might say that, mightn't you!
    Stu: Definitely.
    Crystal: Thanks Stu.
    Stu: Always a pleasure.





    Possibly not the current line up but, let's face it, no one apart from Crystal is going to notice.

    I saw the new Oasis video for the first time this afternoon.

    I was all set to sign on and do a review this afternoon, but I got sidetracked by a phonecall and completely forgot everything I was going to write in the space of three minutes.

    Needless to say I didn't much enjoy it, though the pointless woman, rocking a tiara and running away from unexplained spookiness, was a nice addition.

    Homing in on that horrendous album titled was never going to be as cool as they'd planned, though.


    The Special Two - The Video Review!

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    I only just saw it this morning, and I'm going to have to give it a Cameron style 'hmmm...'



    Good Points:

  • Literalism - During the line 'I've hardly been outside my room in days', Misdemeanor is sitting in her room!
  • It all appears to have been shot in one take, ala Wannabe by the Spice Girls.

    Bad Stuff:

  • The 'one take' approach means she looses her way with her lipsynching a few times.
  • It's quite boring.


    And hasn't this been a wonderful Missy Week! Tomorrow we will find out the chart position for The Special Two! Number fifteen one, here we come!


  • Ooooh!

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    I forgot yesterday to mention what was, hands down, the most hilarious moment in Neighbours history:

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    Dylan going all A Clockwork Orange on the Bishop's house.

    Neighbours should really do Stanley Kubrick tributes more often. For instance, now that Boyd is certifiably crazy, I don't think many people would object to him taking an axe to Summer's head.

    And we started it all of course, with 2004 - A Stu Odyssey:

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    So if this is the 'road' (to sucess!) that Neighbours is going down now, we better get some credit!


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