Whilst my boyfriend is out for the afternoon, and I have the flat to myself, I thought I'd take it upon myself to, ahem, peruse the fanfiction section on Gareth Gates's messageboard.

It's frighteningly good stuff.

gareth and sue have known each other 4 a very long time gareth is going married to his girlfriend hay. one nite the two of them r home aolne they juat had a fight . U KNOW WHAT GARETH GO OFF WITH ALL UR FRIENDS AND CHAT UP ALL THE GIRLS IF U LIKE. fine i think i will. so gareth gets in his cae and drives to the pub down the road he goes in and sees will his best mate. hay gaz oh what happend with hay dont tell me u to had a anthor fight. yeah shes driving me mad. well this stuff happnes what was that fight about. oh u know she doest like when girls come to my house. what who came to ur house. sue. oh gaz do u like her. dam yeah. gareth ur going to b a married man. so sues hot. will do u know were sues lives. gareth dont do this. why not i need a liitle fun. me and hay havent slept together in 2 mounths. yeah but dont go cheating on her. am not i just wanna go and c sue and talk mabye she can help me. ok gaz i will give u her addreees. thanks after that gaz got in his car.he was very nevers he really liked sue and mabye something would happen. they had met at a party and sue seemed to him.

Click here for the rivetting climax.

It's better than Neighbours.