So, in the spirit of The Love Pavilion, here is my Brits 'coverage', three days after they actually happened.



- Scissor Sisters' singing watermelons and dancing easter eggs deserve a mention, as does their giant pink chicken muppet and the talking barn. It's nice to see people dancing around like cocks at the Brit Awards again.
- Unfortunately, we were lured into a false sense of security, because what followed Scissor Sisters ranged from bland (Keane), to dire (Joss Stone, who apparently has a hormone problem, given her acceptance speech upon winning 'Best Imitation of a Black Person' or whatever it was that she won), to downright incestuous (The Bedingfield Two duetting on 'Ain't Nobody' - this is a song about having sex! She's your sister! No! Don't hold her hand, you freak!).
- I fear I'd go into meltdown if I even mentioned Robbie Williams and Joss Stone performing 'Angels'. So I won't, other than to say that it's about time Robert grew some hair, wrote some less whiney songs and went back to being a popstar again.
- Kate was robbed.
- No, seriously: Matt Lucas and David Walliams presenting Robbie's award as Gary Barlow and Howard Donald was funny, but surely seeing Kate Bush moving, on television, for the first time in three million years would have been more worthy of the occassion?
- Girls Aloud were robbed.
- Gwen's shoes were nice.
- Lauren Laverne's voiceover was atrocious. I never thought someone so right could say something so wrong (Keane are going to be around in ten years time? As what?!).
- It was nice to see Siouxsie Sioux presenting Scissor Sisters with the 'Best Album' award. It was especially nice to see Siouxsie Sioux presenting Scissor Sisters with the 'Best Album' award after having taken so many drugs. She was off her face, bless her!

And that, as they say, is that.